


I Wish I Could Hate You

by dcjuris



Category: Supernatural
Genre: BAMF Sam Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 07:04:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16342100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dcjuris/pseuds/dcjuris
Summary: Sam overhears an argument between Dean and Cas.(Just a little drabble I thought up in response to a prompt from Palominopup - "Character Study Wednesday: "I wish I could hate you." Pick one of our boys. Their partner says this to them during a fight. First you need to figure out what they did to make their partner say that. Then get in their head and respond." I kinda went off the rails, but that's how I am. LOL)





	I Wish I Could Hate You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [palominopup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/palominopup/gifts).



Sam hears the argument. Of course he does. Unless you're in the dungeon, it's easier to hear in the Bunker than most people think. So yeah, he hears it. He hears Dean shouting about _stupid, reckless decisions_ , and Cas firing back about how _ungrateful_  Dean is, and how he treats Cas _like a child_. It's an old argument—hashed out dozens of times over the past eight or so years. But this time... 

Sam squeezes his eyes shut in sympathy as Cas hurls the last barrage at Dean: _"I wish I could hate you!_ " 

The silence that follows is more painful than the shouting. Dean doesn't respond. Sam knows he won't. He pictures his big brother standing there, and a part of him wishes _he_ could hate _Cas_ right now. 

He jumps when the Bunker door slams shut. Sam mulls over his choices. Go to Dean, potentially get told to shove his concern up his ass, or leave Dean alone and end up picking him up out of a puddle of vomit later. Fuck it. He rises from his bed and seeks out Dean. 

He finds his brother in the kitchen, sitting on the floor. Dean's got a bottle in one hand—not even the pretense of a glass. The other hand is over his face, fingers digging into his eyes to stop the tears. 

"You okay?" It's a stupid question, but at least it'll break the ice. 

Dean gives a half chuckle, half sob and lowers his hand to look up at Sam. "I'm fuckin' peachy." 

The utter devastation in his eyes tears Sam's heart apart. Fuck Cas—fuck him right to Hell. Sam sinks down to the floor beside Dean.

"Guess you heard."

"Yeah. M'sorry, man. He's probably angry because he knows you're right. What he did was stupid."

"He hates me." The words are whispered, small, part anguish and part defeat.

"That's not what he said." It's a cold comfort, if it's one at all. 

Dean downs half the bottle in three gulps and sags toward Sam, lays his head on Sam's shoulder. 

Sam slides his arm around Dean and sits with him silently. There's nothing he can say to convince Dean he's wrong. His brother is one of the strongest beings Sam has ever met, but deep inside, Dean's never felt like he was enough. Never felt like he deserved anything good. And Sam could rip Cas' throat out with his teeth right now for feeding into that, because goddamn him, Cas _knows_. 

It's two hours and four unsuccessful tries to get Dean off the floor before Cas returns. Sam stands and meets him at the kitchen door. He balls up his fist and lands a right hook to Cas' jaw. The impact doesn't knock him down, but it staggers him back a few feet, and Sam will take what he can get. 

"Sam, I—"

"No. Fuck you, Cas. You get in there and you fix this." Sam stalks toward him and uses every bit of his six-foot-four inches to tower over the angel. "And if you _ever_ hurt him like this again, I promise you it'll be the last mistake you make. Understood?"

Cas nods, wide-eyed and Sam lets him pass.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also a published author. If you like my writing style, check out my published works on Amazon by searching "DC Juris" - that's me. :-)


End file.
